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The fact is the primary caregiver in the first 4 years of life is who the bonds with and thinks of a "mother". I don't care if the person is a grandmother, aunt or ape. Fact is you are no more than an Aunt. But you know what some Aunts are very special, so just be the best darn Aunt you can be, because at this point that is all you have to offer. As for giving the ex boyfriend and father of your any money.. You never have to give up your right to your if you don't want to. But the fact is, if you do, it is no more than a delayed open adoption.

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